You have three wishes

A man picks up an old lamp that is half buried in the sand. Upon rubbing it, out pops a genie. “You have three wishes”, says the genie.

“Hmm..”, the man begins, “I wish ‘three’ means 1000”

“Your wish is granted”, the genie announces. “You now have two wishes”

“I wish ‘two’ means 1000”, the man says and immediately regrets it

Choose Wisely

One fine day, I stumbled upon an old lamp and when I rubbed it, out came a genie. Once the smoke had cleared, it asked me, “I can grant you one wish. You can choose between Infinite Wisdom, Infinite Money or Infinite Beauty. What will it be?”

I was quick to answer, “I’ll take Infinite Wisdom.”. “Granted”, the genie said and with a poof, disappeared. I sighed and with my infinite wisdom, I muttered, “Damn! I should have taken the money.”

Lines in Heaven

An unfortunate accident at the sports stadium left a huge crowd of people in front of the Pearly Gates. To process them quicker, St. Peter ordered all the men to stand in two separate lines. “To handle the high volume of folks, I want the men divided into two lines. To my right, I want all men who listen to their wives and to my left the men who don’t listen to their wives.”

There is a scramble to form lines and after some time the men are divided. The line on St. Peter’s right winds over the clouds like a snake, while the other line just has one man. There are murmurs from the crowd and St. Peter asks the lone man, “You seem to be the only example in this category. I wonder what your wife would think if she saw you here.”

The man replies, “Category? What do you mean? I am standing here because my wife told me to.”

Genie and a writer

A writer is walking down a beach when he sees an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and out comes a genie.

“Thank you for releasing me from my prison. I will grant you one wish. What is it that you want?”

The writer thinks for a moment and says, “I want my writings to bring out strong emotions in my readers. I want my readers to feel pain, anguish and sadness when they read what I have written.”

The Genie grants him his wish. The writer is now composing error messages for Microsoft.

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