WiFi Password

A man walks into a bar and sits at the counter. He asks, “What’s the WiFi password?”. The bartender replies, “You must buy a drink first.”

The man says, “Okay, Can I get a Coke?”. The bartender says, “Sure. That will be 3$”

Once he gets his drink, the man asks again, “What’s the WiFi password?” The reply comes, “You must buy a drink first, no spaces, no capitals”

A drink for my mate

Whenever Jose is at his favorite watering hole, he orders his drinks in twos. It is always “two shots of tequila” or “two pints”.

The bartender’s curiosity made him ask, “Why do you always order two drinks? If you ordered them one after the other, both drinks would be cold.”

Jose replies, “Back in my college days, my best friend Oscar and I would go out drinking. Our jobs made us move to different cities. We made a pact that whenever we wish to drink, we would drink one more for the other”

Impressed at the bond between friends, the bartender gives him his order on the house.

A few months later, Jose walks into the bar and to the bartender’s surprise, orders a single glass of whiskey. Handing over the glass, the bartender offers his condolences, “I am very sorry about your loss. I am sure Oscar will be missed.”

Jose looks puzzled before realizing what the bartender meant. “Oh! Don’t worry, Oscar is fine. It is just that I have stopped drinking.”

Proud of my son

4 mates get together after a long time, after catching up on their life events one of the mate goes to the loo. Mean while the discussion between the rest continues & leads to their sons.

1st Mate states that his son is doing really good in stock market that he bought one of his friend a new Mercedes.

2nd Mate says his son is doing well too & has earned a handsome amount of money that he bought one of his friend a private jet.

3rd Mate says his son is doing exceptionally well that he bought is friend a villa in upstate New York.

That’s when the 4th mate comes back from the restroom & asks what are they discussing about & the mates tell him about their sons, where he says, “Oh! well, my son is gay”.

Other mates are in shock & try to console him but he says, “I am not worried, I am proud of My son as he too is doing pretty well, he has friends who are in so much love with him that they recently got him a new Mercedes, a private Jet & a new villa in upstate New York”.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar

Ouch!

At the bar every night

A husband and wife go to a bar and he orders Jack Daniels shots for the both of them. He gulps his down in one go and looks at his wife. She picks her glass up and drinks it and immediately starts coughing. “That was terrible”, she says. He looks at her and remarks, “And you think I am out here every night enjoying myself at the bar”

A tight squeeze

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that it offered a $1,000 bet no one could squeeze a single drop more from a lemon the bartender had already squeezed. Men from almost every walk of life had tried and failed.

One day a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit walked into the bar. “I’d like to try the bet”, he said. After the laughter died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon and squeezed the juice. Then he handed the wrinkled remains to the little man.

The crowd’s laughter turned to silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon. Six drops fell into the glass! The patrons erupted into cheers.

As the bartender handed over the $1,000, he asked what the little man did for a living. “I work for the IRS”, he answered.

Free Drinks

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?”

The bartender considers it, then agrees.

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, “If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?”

The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat’s music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.

“Sorry”, the man replies, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. “No”, he insists, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

“Are you insane?” the bartender demanded. “That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!”

“Don’t worry about it.” the man answered. “The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat’s a ventriloquist.”

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