My own boss

I took a taxi home today and the driver said “I am really happy with my job. I work my own hours. I am my own boss. No one tells me what to do”

Then I said, “Turn Left”

Company Health Advisory

Posted on the office bulletin board:

Effective immediately, the company gym will be shutdown. Employees are already skipping work, dodging responsibility, pushing their luck and jumping to conclusions.

Why I fired my secretary

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a Happy Birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t utter a word. I was not expecting much, but for everyone to ignore the date, I just couldn’t take it. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy Birthday, Boss!”. I was elated. She asked me out for lunch.

As we sat having food, she suggested, “Let’s have some wine. After all it is your birthday.”. I didn’t say no. We were ready to leave and she said, with a twinkle in her eye, “Boss! Let’s go over to my place”. We went in and she said, “Would you mind if I went into the bedroom for a minute?”. “Okay”, I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, my parents and my colleagues, all yelling “Surprise!”. And there I was on the couch.. naked.

Digging themselves deeper

While walking down the street, I saw two men hard at work. One was digging a hole roughly a foot and a half deep and it was quickly followed by the second person filling up the hole. As they toiled away, I was curious and approached them to ask what they were doing. The first replied, “You see, we are given the task of planting trees by the side of the road. Three of us usually work this job. I, dig a hole. Raju, plants the tree and finally, Mark here fills the hole up.”

He then continued, “Today Raju is out sick and Mark and I are just doing our job.”

An Awkward Conversation

I was using the office restroom and I had just sat myself on the WC. Unexpectedly, I heard a cheery, “Hi!” from the next stall. I was a bit startled, but recovered enough to return the greeting.

“How are you?”, the voice continued. “Doing Fine, I guess.”, was all I could manage. “Big plans for the weekend, heh?” came the next question. “Well, I was thinking of going to the movies”, I ventured, when I was interrupted. “Hang on a minute. I am going to put you on hold. The guy in the next stall thinks I am talking to him.”

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