A man wakes up with a huge hangover and sees his kid looking over him. He says, “Mom says that if you are awake, you can come down for coffee and breakfast”
He is a bit surprised and walks downstairs. At the table, he sees a great selection, one that will bring him out of his hangover. He looks at his son and says, “I was pretty drunk last night. What happened?”. The kid replies, “You came in at 1 AM, drove over the flowers that Mom planted last month. In the living room, as you staggered in, you broke the vase”. The man turns around to see the empty place where the vase used to be. “You puked over the stairs and Mom spent an hour today morning cleaning it out”, the kid continues.
With an incredulous look, the man asks, “So how come I am getting such a good treatment now?”. The kid replies, “You finally plopped on to the bed and Mom tried to remove your pants which had gotten all dirty. All you said was ‘Leave me alone lady, I am married’“