Bad Jokes

A compilation of bad jokes from a “You Laugh, You Lose” competition

I can hear music coming out of my printer.

When will it stop jamming

The other day I put my car in reverse.

That story always takes me back

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great Food, no atmosphere

How would you feel if there was no coffee?


I just bought a new blindfold.

I can’t see myself wearing it.

Locked out

If ever you misplaced your keys and are locked out, talk calmly to your lock. Because communication is key.

Sign of the times

A century ago, rich people drove cars and the common folk rode horses.

Now, commoners drive cars and the rich ride horses.

Oh! how the stables have turned

Dear Algebra

Dear Algebra,

Please stop asking us to find out your X. She is not coming back, you need to accept that. Don’t ask us Y.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar


Thank you

I want to thank everyone who taught me the definition of many

It means a lot.

Death at breakfast

Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?

A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.


It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they always take things literally

Fearing the negative

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Time to spare

Today, I combined all my old wrist watches to make a belt. I don’t recommend it though, it is a complete waist of time.

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