It Hurts everywhere

Patient: Doctor, it hurts everywhere.

Doctor: Please sit down. Can you show me where it hurts?

Patient: (pressing his index finger against his head) Here (touching his stomach) Here (poking his other arm) Here (prodding his legs) Here too!

Doctor: (has a good look at the patient) I see your problem. Your body is fine. It is your index finger that is broken

You have 24 hours to live

A Doctor phones a patient and tells him, “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live.”

The patient is livid, “I have twenty four hours to live and that is the good news? What in the world could be worse?”

To which the doc responds, “Well, the bad news is that, I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

Food After-effects

A doctor tells a group of patients, “The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” An old man raises his hand and says, “Wedding cake.”

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