You have three wishes

A man picks up an old lamp that is half buried in the sand. Upon rubbing it, out pops a genie. “You have three wishes”, says the genie.

“Hmm..”, the man begins, “I wish ‘three’ means 1000”

“Your wish is granted”, the genie announces. “You now have two wishes”

“I wish ‘two’ means 1000”, the man says and immediately regrets it

Everything is relative

A man is talking to God. “God, how long is a million years?”

God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”

“God, how much is a million dollars?”

“To me, it’s a penny.”

“God, may I have a penny?”

“Wait a minute.”

Choose Wisely

One fine day, I stumbled upon an old lamp and when I rubbed it, out came a genie. Once the smoke had cleared, it asked me, “I can grant you one wish. You can choose between Infinite Wisdom, Infinite Money or Infinite Beauty. What will it be?”

I was quick to answer, “I’ll take Infinite Wisdom.”. “Granted”, the genie said and with a poof, disappeared. I sighed and with my infinite wisdom, I muttered, “Damn! I should have taken the money.”

Genie and a writer

A writer is walking down a beach when he sees an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and out comes a genie.

“Thank you for releasing me from my prison. I will grant you one wish. What is it that you want?”

The writer thinks for a moment and says, “I want my writings to bring out strong emotions in my readers. I want my readers to feel pain, anguish and sadness when they read what I have written.”

The Genie grants him his wish. The writer is now composing error messages for Microsoft.

Back to top