Explaining it to the kid

My 8 year daughter: “Dad, what is the meaning of gays?”

Me: “You know how Mum and Dad love each other. Two men can love each other the same way”

She: “So, what’s ‘penetrating gays'”?

Me: “Er.. Can you read me the whole sentence?”

She: “She stared at him with a penetrating gaze”

Me: “Oh!”

– @ItsAndyRyan (Twitter)

Husbands shopping

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

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