Late for work

Late for work, John was getting berated by his boss.

“What’s your excuse for being an hour late?”, the boss questioned.

John began, “I started off on time, but the roads were so slippery, that for every step I took, I slid two steps back.”

His boss wasn’t convinced, “Really? Then how did you manage to get in to work?”

“I finally gave up and decided to turn back and walk home”, came the prompt reply.

My own boss

I took a taxi home today and the driver said “I am really happy with my job. I work my own hours. I am my own boss. No one tells me what to do”

Then I said, “Turn Left”

Why I fired my secretary

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a Happy Birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t utter a word. I was not expecting much, but for everyone to ignore the date, I just couldn’t take it. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy Birthday, Boss!”. I was elated. She asked me out for lunch.

As we sat having food, she suggested, “Let’s have some wine. After all it is your birthday.”. I didn’t say no. We were ready to leave and she said, with a twinkle in her eye, “Boss! Let’s go over to my place”. We went in and she said, “Would you mind if I went into the bedroom for a minute?”. “Okay”, I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, my parents and my colleagues, all yelling “Surprise!”. And there I was on the couch.. naked.

Finding the right parrot

A man walks into a pet shop and starts looking at parrots to buy. He notices one and enquires its price. The shopkeeper tells him, “This parrot costs 2000 dollars. It will answer phone calls for you”

Moving on, he stops at another cage. The shopkeeper tells him, “This will cost you $5000. It will answer your phones as well as take dictation and organize your calendar.”

Looking at the last cage, the man asks, “How much for this one?”. The reply is that it costs 10,000 dollars. Stunned at the high price, he asks, “What does this parrot do?”

“Well, all I see him do all day is sit around”, came the reply, “But the other two call him ‘Boss’

At the office

The wife decided to surprise her husband and reached his office unannounced. She walks into his cabin to find his secretary on his lap.

Without missing a beat, the husband says, “Budget cuts or no, I cannot continue to function with just a single chair in my office.”

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