Tag archives for: bar
A man walks into a bar and sits at the counter. He asks, “What’s the WiFi password?”. The bartender replies, “You must buy a drink first.”
The man says, “Okay, Can I get a Coke?”. The bartender says, “Sure. That will be 3$”
Once he gets his drink, the man asks again, “What’s the WiFi password?” The reply comes, “You must buy a drink first, no spaces, no capitals”
A husband and wife go to a bar and he orders Jack Daniels shots for the both of them. He gulps his down in one go and looks at his wife. She picks her glass up and drinks it and immediately starts coughing. “That was terrible”, she says. He looks at her and remarks, “And you think I am out here every night enjoying myself at the bar”
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that it offered a $1,000 bet no one could squeeze a single drop more from a lemon the bartender had already squeezed. Men from almost every walk of life had tried and failed.
One day a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit walked into the bar. “I’d like to try the bet”, he said. After the laughter died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon and squeezed the juice. Then he handed the wrinkled remains to the little man.
The crowd’s laughter turned to silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon. Six drops fell into the glass! The patrons erupted into cheers.
As the bartender handed over the $1,000, he asked what the little man did for a living. “I work for the IRS”, he answered.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?”
The bartender considers it, then agrees.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, “If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?”
The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat’s music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.
“Sorry”, the man replies, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. “No”, he insists, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
“Are you insane?” the bartender demanded. “That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!”
“Don’t worry about it.” the man answered. “The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat’s a ventriloquist.”